Regrette de Tous
by DTS
Summary: Shawn, now living in San Francisco and engaged to Juliet, receives a phone call with news he doesn't want to believe. **SPOILERS for White Collar finale!**
1. Chapter 1

This follows in the same 'verse as Psychic in the City and (White) Collar Optional. You don't really need to read them. Just know that Shawn and Neal were good friends and met up again when Neal was with the FBI. I started this pretty much right after _White Collar_ ended but lost the drive when my dad passed away. I only have four chapters ready to post and I can't promise a regular posting schedule.

* * *

Shawn Spencer, P.I., strode into the police station like he owned the place, greeting everyone by name. It hadn't taken long, especially when word got out that he and the radiant Detective Juliet O'Hara were engaged. The Chief had refused to give him any cases until he and Gus got licensed by the state. Juliet nagged him to do it as well because she refused to deal with keeping his secret of being a fake psychic. The "course" was a joke. He read the manual and took the exam within 24 hours. It had been loads easier than the detective's exam he took at 15. Oh, and showing off the ID was so cool.

Shawn joined Gus at Juliet's desk where he was pulling a bag of Funyuns from the bottom drawer. She had learned to keep a supply of snacks on hand. He wondered how often she restocked it. He'd have to ask.

With the snack between them on Juliet's desk, Shawn and Gus each pulled out their phones to pass the time. Shawn peered over at Gus to see him scanning through the online version of the _Chronicle_ , looking for a possible case. He would never really tell him, but Shawn did appreciate the fact that Gus was so business and detail oriented. It was mainly due to him holding the bank book that had kept Psych afloat.

Shawn looked back as his phone beeped at him. _Damn it! I let Gus distract me from a new high score!_

His phone rang and he checked the caller ID. He answered. "Hey, Peter! How's El doing? How's New York? I've been thinking about visiting again, maybe take in another museum with Neal."

"Shawn."

Shawn did not like the tone of his friend's voice. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"It's Neal. He's dead."

 _This can't be true. It's part of a con. It has to be._

He barely heard Peter as he explained what happened, something about being double-crossed and shot. Shawn gulped for air as he bent forward in his chair. Suddenly, Juliet was there but she looked blurry. _When did she get blurry?_

"Shawn, let me take you home." She took both his hands in hers and helped him stand. _Both hands? Where was the phone?_ All other thoughts went away as Juliet gently cupped his face and kissed him. That broke down the last of his defenses and the tears poured down his cheeks. Jules then hugged him and let him cry, offering no platitudes.

Juliet drove him home and he stared out the window, seeing nothing. Once at their apartment, she gave him a drink. His last coherent memory was curling up next to her on the bed.


	2. Chapter 2

**W** hen she was sure Shawn was asleep, Juliet extricated herself from her fiancé's grasp and slid off the bed. She paused when he mumbled. When he didn't wake, she continued from the room, closing the door behind her.

Gus was sitting at the kitchen counter staring ahead, the glass of Dr. Pepper in front of him beaded with condensation. He looked up, startled when he sensed her nearby. "How is he?"

"Asleep." She rested her elbows on the counter opposite him. "I feel guilty slipping that pill in his drink."

"He needs the rest, Juliet. There's no other way his mind would shut off."

"I know, but still…" She shrugged. "Can you tell me what Peter said? How did it happen?"

"Neal infiltrated an elite group of thieves in order to bring them down from the inside. One of the gang was someone who knew Neal and of his involvement with the FBI. Peter said his name was Keller and he was a nasty character. After passing their tests, Neal learned the job was taking $500 million from the Federal Reserve, bills brought in from Europe through JFK."

"Those guys didn't think small. Neal must've been tempted."

"According to Peter, the plan was to get the gang with the money as they were loading it in their cars. Neal and Keller were put in a van to be processed by the FBI. When Peter got back, they were gone."

"Please tell me he got to see Neal again before…"

"Juliet, this is hard enough to relate as it is." Gus took a deep breath and continued the story. "They had put Neal's anklet back on so Diana told Peter that Neal was on Wall Street. Peter made it just in time to hear the shot. He chased Keller who taunted him from behind a human shield. Peter shot Keller, killing him. He then ran back to see Neal being loaded into an ambulance. The last thing Neal said to him was 'You're my best friend'." Gus broke down.

Juliet pushed the box of tissues closer. She knew there had to be more to the story. What happened to Neal's body? Did Peter view it to see that it actually was Neal? And why was Neal on Wall Street? Maybe he found out Keller was cheating the Panthers and went along with him until Keller showed him where the money was. They fought and Keller shot him. Yeah, that sounded plausible. Or it could just be that this was going to be the one last job for Neal. She could never say that to Shawn, however. She remembered too well his denial when Desperaux died.

"You know he's going to want to go to New York," commented Gus as he got himself together.

"Of course." Juliet plugged in the kettle and took a cup from the cabinet. "Can you see what you can get for a flight? I don't think he'll be ready tonight, but see what you can find." She put the tea bag in the cup and offered one to Gus.

"No, thanks." He made his way to the desk where the house laptop was set up.

Juliet let him search for flights and hotels while she prepared her tea. This was her drink of choice when she was staying in, curled up on the sofa. When it was ready, she took a sip and let the warmth flow through her. It calmed her, centered her from the wildness of the world around her. She had to be calm for when Shawn woke.

 **S** hawn groggily reached out for Juliet beside him. _She must already be up and making coffee._ He sat up and saw the blinds drawn which was strange because she always opened them so he'd wake with the morning sun. He looked at the clock and saw that it read 7:04. The sun should be pouring in. That's when he noticed the little light that designated "PM". He had slept all afternoon! He touched his forehead. "I'm not running a fever. Why would I…" Then he remembered the phone call. He can't have just regained his friendship with Neal only to lose it. He had been right about Despereaux, but could it happen again?

He took a deep breath and stood. He needed to get all the information he could regarding what happened and that would mean going to New York. Shawn sighed. How to convince Jules that he needed to go and see for himself? _Well, I always do best when I wing it, so…_ He opened the bedroom door quietly and shuffled into the kitchen. Juliet was at the counter sipping tea, her comfort drink of choice. Shawn would join her on occasion only because Patrick Jane did.

Juliet looked up when she sensed him. He never knew if it was the cop in her or that they were just so attuned to each other as a couple. He always liked to believe the latter.

"Shawn." She came over and hugged him.

He hugged her tightly in return, craving that connection.

"How are you holding up?"

"Better, I guess. I slept the whole afternoon away."

Juliet looked away, not able to meet his gaze.

"Thanks."

"You're not mad?"

"No. I think the news just overloaded my brain and sleep was the best way to process it."

She took him by the arm and led him to the couch where they sat and snuggled. "I put in an order for jerk chicken."

"You know me so well." He took a deep breath, preparing himself for telling her about New York.

"So well that I got you this." She held out a slip of paper.

Shawn took the paper and saw it was an e-ticket for a flight to New York tomorrow. "I can't believe you did this! Are you okay with me going?"

"I know you have to do this. You never had the opportunity with Despereaux. Plus, I'm going with you."

It was moments like this that made Shawn realize just how damn lucky he was. "But what about work? The Chief…"

"She gave me time off so I can be here for you."

"She is the second-most marvelous woman I know." He remembered his mother. "That lives in California."

"Nice save." She kissed him.

A new thought struck and he reached for his phone. He hit speed dial and tried to think of what to say.

"Hey, kid."

 _Wait, is that sympathy in his voice?_ "Hey, Dad. I, um… I just wanted… You should know…" _Damn! Why was finding the words so hard?_

"Shawn, I know about Neal. Juliet already called."

"She did, huh?" Shawn looked at his fiancée.

"I know how you are with death," his father continued. "Like Despereaux, Neal led a dangerous life and something like this isn't that unexpected. Go to New York to put your mind at ease, but don't go looking for something that isn't there."

Shawn knew his father meant well by his little speech, but it still hurt. He had been right about Despereaux even though no one else knew but Gus. "I won't go looking, Dad, but if it finds me, that's a different story."

Shawn could picture his dad rolling his eyes. "Just don't embarrass yourself, kid."

Shawn smiled after ending the call with his dad – which was a rarity – and all because of one word. He had said "yourself" not "me".

The doorbell rang. "Ooh! Dinner!"


	3. Chapter 3

Elizabeth Burke sat alone at her dining room table nursing a cup of coffee. She had cancelled all her appointments for the day knowing she wouldn't be able to concentrate. She looked at the framed photo of Peter and Neal dressed in tuxedos. It was one of her favorites and she couldn't bear to hide it away even if t made her cry. She had already placed a number of reminders out of sight. She wasn't going to wipe him from her memory completely. Besides, there probably wasn't one single place in all of New York City that wouldn't remind Peter of their friend.

El then thought of Mozzie. He had known Neal since he had first come to the city and had taken the youth under his wing. Peter had told her that the man had been spouting theories on how Neal faked his death despite being confronted with the body.

The doorbell rang, pulling her out of her funk. She wiped her face and brushed back her hair as she walked to the door. She allowed herself a small smile. Maybe Peter had forgotten his keys again. What greeted her as she opened the door was not her husband but three friends who were supposed to be in San Francisco.

"Hey, El."

Shawn's tone may have been light but his eyes, they told the true story.

"Shawn, Juliet, Gus. Please, come in." El stepped aside and let them enter. "Just set your bags down in the hall. Did you just get in?"

"We took an early flight," Gus answered. "Shawn wanted to stop before we went to the hotel."

"Let me get you some water. I know flying always makes me parched." El moved to the kitchen and took down some glasses.

"How are you doing?" Juliet entered the room.

"As well as I can be, I guess." She took the water pitcher from the refrigerator and poured. "With his past and then working with Peter, there was always a chance, but…" El took a breath. "Peter was certain that Neal was going to get his freedom at the end of this case."

As her voice broke, Juliet enveloped her in a hug. El let herself relax and cry. She chuckled as she remembered how Peter always got flustered when a woman cried.

She pulled away, wiping her tears. "I practically cry at the drop of a hat these days. This just…"

"You don't need to explain to me, to any of us." Juliet handed her a tissue. "Your hormones on top of your emotions is the only thing we need to know."

They heard Gus and Shawn coming down the stairs and headed back to the living room. El didn't bother trying to rid herself of the signs of crying because she knew Shawn would see them anyway.

"Thank you, El," said Gus as he took the water from her. He sat in one of the chairs leaving the couch for Juliet and Shawn.

El took the one opposite him. "I was just planning to warm up some leftovers for lunch, but I can always order something." She knew she was babbling but she couldn't help it.

"Leftovers will be fine," Gus answered.

"Right now let's just sit and visit," Juliet added. "How are you feeling? Is everything progressing okay?"

 _Good. Talk about the baby._ "Everything is going as expected. And the morning sickness isn't that bad. But what of San Francisco? It's such a beautiful city."

"You've been?" asked Juliet.

"A few times for work."

The door opened and Peter entered. "Hey, hon." He noticed she wasn't alone. "And friends."

El stood and walked over to him. "Hey, hon," she said with a kiss. "They flew out this morning."

"Thanks for coming out, guys. It means a lot." Peter looked at Shawn. "You need to know what happened, don't you?"

"Yeah. A few years back I had another friend die and I refused to believe it. Even when the DNA said it was him. Neal was better than Despereaux, he could have set this whole thing up."

"Despereaux? Wasn't he killed in an explosion?"

"Shawn and I witnessed it," said Gus.

"You saw your friend die?" El couldn't believe what she heard.

Shawn didn't answer and became very interested in his plate.

Juliet placed her hand on Shawn's. "Shawn delivered the eulogy."

El sensed that there was something else going on but she wasn't going to get it until they were ready to share.

"Have you checked into your hotel yet?" asked Peter, thankfully changing the subject.

"No," said Gus. "Shawn wanted to stop here first."

"Well, you might want to rest up. There's a gathering tonight at June's."

"We'll head there next. I know I could use a rest," Juliet responded. "I didn't sleep a wink on the plane."

"Me, either," added Gus.

"Buddy, your snores drowned out the engines," Shawn commented as he re-entered the conversation. "I doubt anyone else got any sleep." He looked at Peter. "I'd like to go to the office with you."

El saw Juliet's grip tighten. Gus looked at him as if he were crazy. "Are you sure, Shawn? It might be too much too soon."

"I have to, El. I can't just wait now that I'm here."

El recognized the look on Shawn's face. She had seen it many times over the years when Peter latched onto a lead and wouldn't let go. There was no way Shawn was going to leave this alone.

* * *

Shawn stood, waiting for a response from Peter. He blocked out Jules and Gus' complaints that he should go back to the hotel and rest before investigating.

"If I said no, you'd go anyway and we know how well that worked out before."

Shawn grinned and meant it.

"I'll bring him to your hotel before the gathering tonight," Peter told Juliet and Gus.

"But he'll lose you in the streets," argued Gus. "He's good at that."

"We won't even leave the office."

Once on the road, Shawn looked out the window as Peter navigated across the Brooklyn Bridge. It was still weird to think he wasn't going to meet Neal at the office. It must really hurt Peter to have to face such memories wherever he looked.

"How was he? At the end?" he asked at a red light.

"W-what do you mean?" There was a slight catch in his voice.

"Was he at peace? Did he fight it at all?"

Shawn could see Peter's jaw tighten as the question hit very close to home. He knew it would be tough for Peter to answer, but he just _had_ to know everything that happened.

"The EMTs had him on the gurney and, um, just before they put him in the ambulance, he…he gripped my hand and…" His hands tightened on the steering wheel as he took a deep breath. "He told me I was his best friend. Those were his last words to me."

"Oh, man, I didn't mean to bring that up. I'm so sorry, Peter." Shawn quickly wiped his eyes. He thought back to his last exchange with Neal. It had been when they said goodbye at Neal's apartment after his last visit. Peter wouldn't let him near the airport for obvious reasons.

 _Five Months Ago…_

" _This was a great visit," Neal said as he gave Shawn a quick manly hug. "Too bad it was so short."_

 _"We did cram a lot in after Peter let you go_."

 _"It did help that you solved the case in a few hours."_

 _"I have added 'Consultant for the FBI' to the company letterhead." Shawn couldn't help but grin. "Next time we'll have to hit some places off the beaten path, places only native New Yorkers would know."_

 _"I'll start planning the itinerary now."_

 _There was an insistent honk from outside._

 _"Guess that's my ride. Sorry you can't come."_

 _"Yeah, Peter's got this thing about me and airports."_

 _"We could smuggle you out as cargo."_

 _"Coffin!" they said in unison._

Shawn sat up a little straighter. Could Neal have really done that? But Peter and Mozzie saw his still, unmoving body. There had to be drugs that could put someone in a near-death coma, right? He'd have to check with Gus later, preferably away from Juliet. It was still only a theory and he didn't need her bringing up Despereaux, especially when she didn't know the truth.

He took a deep breath as Peter parked the car in his space.

"Are you going to be all right?" he asked.

Shawn wasn't sure. It was another place where Neal had spent most of his time and it would be hard not to imagine him sitting at his desk. At least it wasn't his apartment. "I think so."

He followed Peter into the elevator and positioned himself at the back, leaning against the wall. He could tell by how Peter stood that he was bracing himself for walking into the office and not seeing Neal. _Does he do every time or is it just because of what I said?_ The agents who entered the elevator seemed to look at him with pity though they never said anything. It was that look you gave when you heard someone you didn't know all that well lost someone else you didn't know.

They arrived at the White Collar office and Shawn took a deep breath before stepping out. Heads turned at Peter's arrival. Some nodded, recognizing Shawn from his previous visits, but it was Jones and Diana who smiled and came over to greet him.

"When did you get in?" Jones asked.

"Flew out this morning. Juliet and Gus are at the hotel."

"Shawn is going to look at the files pertaining to Neal's case," Peter informed them.

"They should be in your office," Diana answered. "I'll check around for others."

Peter put a hand on Shawn's back and directed him to the conference room. "Take a seat. I'll bring the files."

Shawn sat in the leather and chrome chair and stared out the windows onto the Manhattan skyline. He barely noticed the view most people would pay thousands for – if not millions – as he was lost in his own memories. This aspect of his trip was harder than he thought it would be. He didn't know if it was the doubt surrounding Neal's death or the fear of the possible crash should all the evidence point that way. He remembered when his dad gave him the autopsy report at Despereaux's service. He had felt like a crash test dummy after a hard day's work. He was not looking forward to feeling that way again.

Shawn was brought out of his reverie by the files hitting the table. He shook his head to push those melancholic thoughts to the back of his brain and reached for the top folder.


	4. Chapter 4

Peter watched Shawn as he read through the file that started the ball rolling: Neal's kidnapping. The speed with which he went through the files was amazing. He never tired of it.

"So, this guy Booth kidnapped Neal because he wanted a diamond in FBI custody?"

"He'd heard about Neal from another thief-"

"Rebecca."

"Right. He wanted to join the Pink Panthers and needed a daring heist to act as an audition. Neal turned the tables and created a heist for his own audition."

"Of course he went along to stay alive, but did you ever think that perhaps it was the beginning of his own long game? That he was planning to rob from them?"

No, he hadn't thought that. He had trusted that Neal had wanted to take them down just to get his freedom.

"That's when he wanted the contract regarding his release." Shawn closed the final file. "You showed trust, letting Neal off his anklet. That gave him some freedom at the end and I really think he appreciated the faith you had in him."

"I keep wondering if we had found a more discreet way to track him, the…whole thing could have been avoided. The anklet didn't go on until after we caught the Panthers and I still got there too late."

"You did get Keller, Peter. The man would have gone on to terrorize more people, abduct other people's wives. That Neal had to… You did a good thing, Peter."

"Thanks, Shawn." Peter sighed. He needed to hear something like that from someone who wasn't involved with the case. Somehow, it just meant more.

Shawn's phone rang a catchy tune and he checked the ID before answering. "Hey, Jules." He checked his watch. "Sorry, I didn't realize the time. I just finished going through the files." He listened for a moment. "I'm not a speed reader and FBI files are very detailed." More listening. "Yeah, we'll leave now. I'll have more than enough time to shower and change clothes. I'm just not sure if I'll have enough time for my hair."

Peter rolled his eyes and collected the files to put in his office.

"Love you, too." Shawn ended the call and slipped the phone into the back pocket of his jeans. "Do you mind taking me back?"

"It's not that far out of my way. Plus, I did promise Juliet and Gus."

"They'll start checking my phone GPS if I'm not back in the time it takes to drive there."

"Right. Let me just put these away and we'll head off."

They drove to the hotel in relative silence. Peter knew if he got talking about Neal, his eyes would get teary and driving would be difficult. He'd hold out until they were at June's and he wouldn't be alone. Not that he was alone here. Shawn was just as emotionally brittle as he was, if not more so. He had seen the body, knew for a certainty that his friend was dead. He remembered Gus telling him that Shawn had never handled death well, going back to the death of a pet lizard when he was still in school. That's why he had to investigate this himself and find his own answers.

Peter pulled up in front of the hotel. "I'll see you in a couple of hours at June's. And please don't mention to her what you're doing. It would hurt too much."

"'Course not. I wouldn't do that to her." Shawn got out of the car. "Thanks for bringing me to the office. It helped."

"I'm glad. Apologize to them for me."

"They're madder at me than you, but I will anyway." With a mock salute, Shawn went into the building.

After watching him disappear, Peter merged with traffic and made his way home to his wife.

* * *

Gus found it hard to keep from pacing. Shawn should have been back by now. He knew Shawn could get carried away with grief and anger and be more reckless than usual. He could have lied to Juliet on the phone about where he was. He could be lying dead on an inner-city basketball court for all they knew. He reached for his phone.

"Gus, don't worry," said Juliet. "Shawn hasn't had time to drive here yet. If he doesn't show in another half hour, we'll call again." She went back to the novel she had picked up at the airport.

Gus picked up his tablet and tried to beat Shawn's high score. He had to fight the temptation to text his best friend. He had only agreed not to call, after all. He was just about to open the message app when he heard the door latch.

"Honey, I'm home!" Shawn declared as he entered.

Gus was immediately up. "Do you know what time it is? You couldn't have called? Why do you always put me through this?"

"Hello to you, too."

"He was just worried you were hurt in an alley somewhere," Juliet said after greeting him with a kiss.

"Thought I got mixed-up in a little Sharks-Jets action, hunh? Peter and I left the office right after your call. We hit some traffic so there were some detours."

Gus calmed down a little bit. Yeah, he probably did overreact just a smidge, but he knew how single-minded Shawn could get, even to the point of recklessness. Maybe he actually had been at the FBI the whole time. "Sorry."

"No worries, buddy. It's nice to know that you would've sent out a search party."

"You know that's right."

"Now that we've reached an understanding, you have to take a shower," said Juliet as she directed Shawn towards the bathroom.

"But I'm hungry," he moaned.

"Food afterwards."

"Fine."

Juliet shoved him into the room. She listened at the closed door until she heard water running and then crossed to the closet.

Gus joined her as they decided which suit/shirt combination Shawn should wear. "Charcoal suit, navy shirt," he decided. "With a black tie."

"You think he'll wear it?" she asked.

"It's for Neal. He'd wear a hat if he had one."

Juliet gave a small smile. "Yes, he would." She went to the suitcase and picked out clean underwear. She then went into the bathroom with Shawn's change of clothes.

Gus knew that Shawn was very fastidious with his appearance so there was still at least half an hour before they left. Maybe he could still beat Shawn's score.

A little over an hour later, they were on the way to June's. It was practically a record for Shawn. Maybe it was Juliet's promise of a soft pretzel from a food truck on the way. He was contentedly munching as they walked to the mansion. Gus was more careful while eating his. It just would not do to show up covered in crumbs. He knew these people but the setting would be very uncomfortable arriving with food on his suit.

They stopped outside the brownstone as Juliet looked Shawn over, brushing away crumbs and straightening his tie. She then pulled out a container of wintergreen Tic-Tacs and shook out some for them to share.

Gus loved the fact that June and her neighbors kept up their houses and the street. It was like an oasis of elegance in an area that had grown seedy over the years. They climbed the stairs and Gus was the first to spot the wreath of branches tied with black ribbon. This was definitely classier than those all-black wreaths.

Shawn stopped short and stared at the tamed flora. "What is that?" he asked a little shakily.

Gus had a feeling, judging by the tone of his friend's voice, Shawn had an idea. He explained anyway. "It's a Victorian tradition. Yew trees are associated with regeneration and immortality. Wreathes were placed on the door of the deceased's family to show they were in mourning."

"Huh." Shawn filed that piece of information away in his magpie mind.

Gus made to knock, but Shawn just opened the door and walked in. There was muted conversation throughout the rooms. The majority of the guests were agents, but interspersed among them were people Neal had met in the course of his life, ones that had nothing to fear from the FBI.

June hurried over and enveloped Shawn in a hug. "El told me you were here when she helped with the catering. I'm so glad you could make it – all of you." She gave Juliet and Gus quick hugs. "Please mingle. We'll have time to talk later?"

"I'll make a point of it," Shawn replied.

"Good." She patted Shawn's cheek before seeing to her other guests.

"I love that woman."

Gus couldn't help but agree. "Buffet?"

"Oh, yeah. That pretzel was barely an appetizer."

"Can you fix me a plate?" asked Juliet. "I'm going to talk with Diana."

Since Shawn had already started for the tables, Gus told Juliet that he would pick out a good assortment for her. He then followed after Shawn, hoping that June had ordered lots of food. A hungry Shawn was dangerous near a buffet.


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm so sorry for the delay. I've actually had this chapter done and I thought I had already posted it. I do plan to get working on it, I do. I just have to figure out how to not make it sound like a re-hash of the last season of White Collar. Please be patient!**

* * *

Shawn opened the door slowly, almost reverently. He felt like he was entering a museum. He couldn't help but chuckle at the thought. It was where they had met, after all. Everything in the apartment was where it had always been. Shawn could just imagine that Neal was just outside on the balcony. He could even smell the wine.

"'The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;/Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;/Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood./For nothing now can ever come to any good.'"

" _Four Weddings and a Funeral_."

"W. H. Auden."

"Mozzie." Shawn turned on the light by the couch to reveal the other man and the near-empty bottle on the table. "Why aren't you downstairs?"

"Why aren't you?" he countered.

"It was getting tiresome." Shawn sat in the chair facing the couch. "I just wanted to get away."

Mozzie pushed the bottle over. "I don't like drinking alone."

"You already were."

"Yes, but I didn't like it."

Shawn reached over and took the bottle. He looked over the level and guessed it to be about one glass. He took a swig directly from the bottle. His palette wasn't as educated as Mozzie's – he preferred beer – but he could tell this was the good stuff.

"I keep expecting to find some sign that this is all part of a con so he could be free again, you know?" Mozzie's voice was emotional.

"You're the one who knows the most of his secrets," Shawn said. "Keeping you out of the loop keeps you both safe. If you knew, if you left New York, the FBI would suspect a fake. We have to carry on with the grieving process. We've lost him, just not to the flip-side."

"You're here to prove he's still alive?"

The hope in Mozzie's tone made Shawn hesitate. "I've always had this thing about death. A couple of years ago, a friend helped me out of a tough spot and got blown up for his troubles."

"Despereaux. Shawn, you called Neal when it happened."

"Yeah, well…I refused to believe that he was dead even though there was a body – well, parts – whose prints and dental records matched. The DNA results came through and I lost it at the funeral. I was then threatened by the woman we were after – Josie…Jocelyn…"

"Jacqueline. You told us this, too."

"Fine, but did I tell you that I'm alive because Despereaux was?"

Mozzie stared. "No, you never mentioned that."

"He switched the medical records to match the body he used."

"It can be done," Mozzie said slowly. "But that was an explosion so there wasn't much of a body left, easier to hide the truth. But it was Neal on that table."

Shawn leaned forward. "We both know that there are drugs out there that can mimic death. Gus could probably list 'em off the top of his head. Neal could have bribed the doctor and the EMTs. We know he can charm anyone."

The other man continued to be buoyed by the possibility that his friend could still be out there somewhere.

"Mozzie, I want you to tell me about Neal's plan, the stuff he kept from Peter."

Shawn listened as Mozzie began his tale. Neal had turned his abduction into opportunity. He had pulled a heist and got a face-to-face with Alan Woodford, the leader of the Pink Panthers, an exclusive group of criminals who had stolen an estimated $1.2 billion in gems over the course of 20 years. Neal then told Peter he would help bring them down in exchange for his freedom.

Mozzie also told Shawn that Neal had kept him out of it, kept him away from the Panthers. "He brought the Suit in instead of me, even when they were down a man at the end."

"You were stationed at Wall Street to take the money from the tubes," Shawn stated. "Neal didn't trust the FBI to honor the contract. You were gonna take the money and disappear somewhere. At any point in your conversations, did you think he was planning something else?"

"Like he told the Feds one thing, me another and then did something else?"

Shawn nodded.

"I guess so. He was acting a little more…aloof than usual. I just wish he hadn't shut me out."

"Tell me what happened, Mozzie." Shawn was patient, coaxing.

"Neal and Keller met up with me and I already had the money divided into three bags. Keller – quel surprise – wanted it all. Neal pulled a gun on him and told me to leave with our share."

"Neal pulled a gun?" Shawn couldn't believe what he heard. "He hates guns."

"He must have known Keller was going to try something and a gun was the only thing he'd understand."

"What did you do next?"

"I took the money, disguised myself as a homeless man and left with my shopping cart. As I was walking away, I heard it. I heard the gunshot."

* * *

Juliet mingled with the guests, hearing different stories about Neal and how he could charm his way into – and out of – anything. She had a few of her own to share from his one time in California and the times she had come to New York with Shawn. It then struck her that she hadn't seen her fiancé for some time. Juliet looked around the room and spotted Gus chatting away. There was no sign of Shawn. She then knew where he had gone.

She went upstairs and stopped outside the door to Neal's apartment when she heard soft voices from inside. Shawn wasn't alone. Juliet opened the door quietly and entered the dimly lit room. Shawn was sitting in a chair facing her and motioned for silence. Mozzie was sitting on the couch telling Shawn what happened in that Wall Street basement.

"I heard it. I heard the gunshot."

Juliet couldn't help it. She gasped. The man had left his best friend with his nemesis and a gun. How did he keep from running back?

"I had to keep going. I had $20 million to deal with. It could have been a warning shot. I didn't know it was Neal until Elizabeth called me."

Juliet couldn't stay back any longer. She hurried around and sat next to Mozzie, wrapping the man in a hug. "Oh, Mozzie." At first she thought he would pull away, but he accepted the comfort.

Mozzie ended the hug but didn't completely pull away from her presence. Juliet shared a smile with Shawn.

"Sorry I had to put you through that," said Shawn. "I just wanted to know what Neal said to you that he kept from Peter."

"There is something." Mozzie looked at the two of them. "I told Neal that if the Panthers ever found out that he stole from them that they would go after everyone he cares about."

"So he fakes his death to save his friends plus get his freedom. I'll keep that in mind."

"Do you want anything from downstairs?" asked Juliet. "There's still some food left.

"I got some food when I first arrived. I'll make my way out later."

"In case you think of something else or just want to talk, here's my cell number." Juliet jotted it down on a scrap paper from her purse. "You already have Shawn's, right?"

"Yes." Mozzie took the number. "Thank you, Juliet."

"We'll leave you with your solitude." Shawn stood and put his hand on Juliet's shoulder. "We won't tell anyone you're here."

"Thanks."

"Anytime."

The couple left the apartment and made their way back to the party.

"Are you ready to head to the hotel?" she asked him.

"Jules, we're in NYC, the Big Apple, and the night is young. We can't go back to stare at hotel walls."

"We're going with Peter tomorrow morning. We can't stay out too late."

"C'mon. A few drinks at an intimate setting. Maybe some dancing…"

"Perhaps to some Sinatra."

"There's gotta be a place that fits the bill. Maybe we should ask June. She's sure to know." Shawn pulled her along through the guests to their host.

Jules followed - having no choice – and wondered about the change in Shawn since talking with Mozzie. Of course she knew he wanted to find proof that this was all a con, though she dreaded what would happen if he failed. Maybe this was his chance to live like Neal, to carry on his memory. She would just have to be there when he crashed.

"…Jules?"

"What? Sorry, just thinking."

"June was telling me about a couple of nightclubs that would meet our needs. She said she'd even sneak out of her own party to join us. She can partner Gus on the dancefloor."

"I'll call a taxi."

"Jules, don't be so last year. Uber."

"Shawn, I am not using Uber."

"No need," interrupted June. "I'll call my driver."

"Thank you, June. We'll get Gus and meet you out front."

Shawn dodged people until he reached Gus. Juliet watched as her fiancé animatedly explained to his best friend what they were doing. She could see Gus refusing, probably on the grounds that it was rude. Shawn said something else and they both looked in her direction. She smiled and nodded as they headed for the door. She sighed as she followed, wondering how long Shawn's good spirits would last.


	6. Chapter 6

El sat across from Peter as he had his cereal. She was only having toast and tea as her stomach was feeling rebellious. "Are you picking up Shawn this morning?"

"All three of them. They don t think I can handle him."

"I wonder how chipper they ll be."

"What s that supposed to mean?"

"Just that they sneaked out last night without saying goodbye". El sipped her tea.

"So, they were just probably going back to their hotel. It was a long day for them."

"If that were the case, I doubt they would have slipped out."

"Hm." Peter chewed for a few moments. "I never thought Gus or Juliet would be so rude as to leave without thanking June."

El smiled at Peter believing Shawn _would_ do such a thing. "She went with them."

Peter had trouble swallowing his coffee. "She left her own party?"

"Shawn most likely wanted to remember Neal in a way he d appreciate. You know Neal wasn't one for big parties and small talk so they probably found a place with swing music."

He sighed. "That sounds about right. I promise to go easy on them."

"Good." She stood, leaned over and kissed his forehead. I' e got a few appointments lined up today, but I ll call you at lunch for an update and I expect a good report."

* * *

Peter picked up the California crew at their hotel and pulled into traffic as soon as he had an opening. "Okay, where do you want to start?"

"The building where Neal was taken by Boothe. I want to see this chronologically."

"Of course, you do," Peter muttered. "El saw you leave last night," he said to no-one in particular.

"Yeah, it was feeling a little not-Neal, Shawn replied. I thought he needed an appropriate celebration."

"And June went with you."

"'Course. We weren't going to leave without telling her and she wanted to go."

"Can you fill us in on some of the details?" Juliet asked from the passenger seat. "Shawn likes to keep them to himself until the last minute."

"I do not!" he protested.

"Yes, you do!" his fiancee and best friend responded.

Peter recounted how they tracked Neal after his anklet had been deactivated. He parked the car and lead them to the open space where Neal had been cuffed to a chair as Boothe questioned him.

"So, Rebecca told you where to find Neal," started Gus as he paused taking pictures with some high-tech camera.

"No, she told them where to find Boothe." Shawn studied the back of the chair. "He knew you would find him. He carved a message into the chair."

"I've gotten pretty good at finding him. A near-perfect record."

"You still found him," Shawn said.

"Just not quick enough."

"What s the message?" asked Juliet to keep them both away from thoughts of mourning.

"Kessman," Peter told them. "Neal was telling me where the heist was going down."

Shawn stood. "Boothe threatened to push Neal down the elevator shaft if he didn't help."

"And he turned it to his advantage," continued Juliet. "They escaped before you arrived, creating the illusion that they were on the same side."

"I'm not so sure about the illusion," Peter commented.

"You think he was planning an escape right from the beginning?" questioned Gus.

"Maybe not the escape, but he knew if he could get in, he could use it as a bargaining chip."

Shawn headed for the door. "Next on the list?"

"Next was the Kessman Building over on Avenue of the Americas." Peter took them down to the car.

"Can we stop for food first? I m getting a little light-headed."

Peter had forgotten that Shawn mapped his routes by food trucks. Sales probably doubled when he was in town. "I know a good gyro truck on the way."

"Ooh, Greek."

That same moment, Gus called, "Shotgun!" and shut the front passenger door behind him.

"Not fair. We were talking food." Shawn looked to his fiancee. "Jules, you know food trumps shotgun."

Juliet ushered him to the back seat. "With all the driving we ll be doing, you ll have another chance."

"But-"

"No arguing," said Peter as he started the car. "If you do, I reserve the right to pick shotgun for the rest of the visit." He looked at Gus. "And that means no gloating from you." Peter merged into traffic. _If one of them asks if we re there yet, I m kicking them out._


End file.
